Zero support and burn out
I’m a ICU registered nurse at a tertiary referral hospital, and my unit has been made the pandemic pod for covid. During the delta outbreak last year, right as it was getting to the worst part, I unexpectedly found out I was pregnant. I was already struggling with work, due to witnessing patients pass away without family close by, and this news shook me even more. I struggled to accept it, and was at work distracted and pre occupied. On top of this, I was so sick, I couldn’t keep food or water down at all, so I wasn’t eating, and the n95 masks and gowns were triggering my gag reflex and making me sick.
Despite all this, due to staffing shortages, and the severity of patients, I was forced to stay in the covid unit, until I finally said enough was enough. I was in patients rooms swallowing back vomit, because I couldn’t take my mask off in the room. It wasn’t fair on me and it wasn’t fair on my patients. And then, due to this anxiety and stress it was causing me, I miscarriaged. And did not receive any follow up or support at all.
5 months later, I’m still struggling with PTSD wearing covid ppe, from that experience, and I go to work racked with anxiety, and can’t sleep on night shifts.