marriage equality

The Moment Australia Voted For My Love

November 17, 2017 by Nurse Uncut Editor 7 Comments

Following the success of love and Australia voting Yes to marriage equality, we take a moment to reflect on some of the impacts of the campaign and how we all felt. Kath is a nurse who tells her story and experience of the last few months:

It’s so very hard to find the right words to capture the emotions I felt at the moment the results of the Australian Same Sex Marriage Postal Survey were announced. Like so many people in the LGBTI community, I had no way of avoiding the vile campaign of the ‘No’ camp. Hate and bigotry was openly broadcast through every form of media; lies and misconceptions were given quasi-validity via a rhetoric marked as ‘free speech’. There was literally no escape from the constant bombardment of cruel and hurtful lies. I wasn’t alone; so many of my friends shared their stories of personal pain. We were united in just how much strength of character it took to remain civilised when forced to listen to very personal attacks. My entire life was publically debated and labelled deficient by people I have never met and who have no knowledge of my moral code or personal values.

Most painful of all, the depth of love I feel for my beautiful partner was touted as inferior to the love experienced by a heterosexual couple. In an entirely bizarre twist, the ‘No’ campaign decided that marriage should be synonymous with the ability or desire to reproduce. I can’t personally speak with all heterosexual couples of non-child baring age or those undergoing IVF treatment, or couples who just choose to not have children; however I think I’d be correct to say that they have no deficiencies on the love front.

At times it felt like the campaign would never end. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse another painful reminder of the hate some people feel towards same-sex couples would pop up. The donation of 1 million dollars (thirty pieces of silver has experienced some inflation) to the ‘No’ campaign by the Sydney Anglican Diocese was probably the lowest point in the campaign for me. The active role the Sydney Anglicans have no doubt played in damaging the mental health of vulnerable LGBTI kids is inhuman, a sanctimonious betrayal of their purported moral compass. As for the LGBTI kids in their own congregations, they are by far at most risk due to their isolation. The real cost of this horrible survey may never be fully known.

As I stood with my tribe in Prince Alfred Park in Sydney I reflected on all this. I could not have been more proud. We have heard it all, we have suffered greatly and for the most part, we have carried ourselves with grace and dignity. We have learned who our allies are and who are not. We have also been given an opportunity; we now know that the real enemy is ignorance. When we openly live our authentic LGBTI lives we gift our families and our wider communities the opportunity to truly know us. When the announcement came that 7 million Australian’s were willing to vote for love; I cheered, I cried, I cheered some more. Then I sent a message to the one lady in that 7 million who this was all for. The message was simple – I love you.

Marriage equality has health benefits

September 29, 2017 by Rayan Calimlim

The mental wellbeing of gay people is closer to that of heterosexuals in places where same-sex marriage is legal, research has found.

In a recent article in The Conversation three leading mental health experts, including former Australian of the Year Pat McGorry, said the mental health benefits of legalising same-sex marriage particularly flow on to young people, for whom suicide rates have a been a significant national concern for decades.

“Same-sex attracted young people are roughly twice as likely to be diagnosed with a mental health disorder, more than six times more likely to have thoughts of suicide, and five times more likely to make a suicide attempt than their heterosexual peers,” McGorry and his co-authors said.

“These inequalities are exacerbated in jurisdictions that do not support same-sex marriage and where discrimination is therefore institutionally endorsed.”

They cite a US study that found mood and anxiety disorders, as well as alcohol-related problems, increased significantly among same-sex-attracted people who lived in states that banned gay marriage during the 2004 and 2005 elections.

In contrast, they say: “In Denmark same-sex married men experienced a reduction in rates of premature death after the implementation of a registered partnerships law in 1989.

“Similarly, in the United States, implementation of same-sex marriage policies has been associated with a 7 per cent relative reduction in the proportion of high school students attempting suicide.”

Marriage equality debate has increased discrimination

There are sound health reasons to legalise same-sex marriage, and there are also sound health reasons to oppose a drawn out and very public debate.

The National Mental Health Commission recently released a statement saying the marriage equality debate in Australia has heightened discrimination against Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex and Queer (LGBTIQ) people.

The Commission’s Co-Chair, Professor Allan Fels, said “LGBTIQ people have been experiencing damaging behaviour in their workplaces, communities and in social and traditional media.

“The Commission is alarmed about the potential negative health impacts these debates are having on individuals, couples and families who face scrutiny and judgement.”

On the eve of the High Court’s decision to allow the postal vote on marriage equality to go ahead, the Shadow Minister for Health and Medicare, Catherine King, added her voice in parliament to concerns that discussions about marriage equality are harming the LBGTIQ community.

She noted the “mental health of LGBTIQ people is among the poorest in Australia”.

“Same-sex attracted Australians are up to 14 times likelier to attempt suicide. Young same-sex attracted Australians are six times likelier to attempt suicide than their peers.”

NSWNMA delegates support change

The issue of marriage equality was discussed by the NSWNMA at last year’s Annual Conference. Delegates overwhelmingly voted in favour of the campaign to establish a legislative framework for same-sex marriage in Australia, says Judith Kiejda, NSWNMA Assistant General Secretary.

Sally Whitney, an NSWNMA member who starred in a television commercial promoting marriage equality earlier this year, says it is important for Australians who are undecided about what their vote is going to be in the upcoming postal ballot to think carefully about what is fair and what is equal.

“Sexuality isn’t a choice, and marriage isn’t about religion but about the love commitment and union of two people,’ she said.

“Marriage affords rights that should be available to all Australians. The right to marry brings security to people and they feel valued.”

7 reasons why you should register to vote for marriage equality

August 22, 2017 by Nurse Uncut Editor Leave a Comment

We asked some students why they think you should register to vote on the upcoming marriage equality survey. This is what they had to say:

More young people support marriage equality than ever, and they should have their voices heard. – Victoria

It’s true! 81% of people between 18-24 said they supported marriage equality

2. Marriage equality affects so many more people than you think. – Christie

11% of Australians are estimated to be sex or gender diverse, and this change will be a big difference for each and every one of them.

3. I think young people should enrol to vote, because we’re not going to have the opportunity ever again to finally separate love from all the other stuff. – Issy

4. Young people in particular are usually left out of the conversation when it comes to politics, and I think young people should register to vote so that they can have their voices heard. – Aadarsh

Around 25% of young people aren’t registered to vote – the same demographic most likely to vote for equality

5. Because I’m married, and everyone should have the privilege to marry the person they love. It’s that simple. – Rosalie

6. Without being registered to vote, without getting out there and voting yes, you’re allowing the voices of bigots and of those who oppose equality to actually drown you out. – Lachlan

7. People should enrol to vote so that our children can know that it’s alright to love whoever they want and be accepted. I think that’s inevitable, so we should just start now. – Mel

If you haven’t done so yet, register to vote or check your enrolment. You can help achieve an outcome that delivers better health and equity for the LGBTIQ community.

Make sure you check your enrolment today: https://check.aec.gov.au/

Marriage equality is a health issue

March 6, 2017 by Rayan Calimlim

Australian marriage law should be amended to allow two people of the same sex to marry, according to a NSWNMA submission to a senate committee.

The NSWNMA submission to the senate committee, which is considering the issue of same sex marriage, highlighted the health and human rights issues at stake.

“The issue of marriage equality was discussed at last year’s Annual Conference, and delegates overwhelmingly supported the campaign of Australians for Marriage Equality to establish a legislative framework for same sex marriage in Australia,” says Judith Kiejda, NSWNMA Assistant General Secretary.

“We consider this a matter of human rights, specifically the right for all members of our community to be treated equally before the law.”

In October last year, the federal government released what is known as a ‘draft exposure’ of the same sex marriage bill it intends to introduce if a plebiscite is held and the community votes in favour of same sex marriage.

The union made a submission in response to the draft exposure bill in January 2017 after a vote in support of marriage equality at the last NSWNMA annual conference. A recent survey – sent to all members – showed the vast majority support marriage equality.

In the submission, NSWNMA General Secretary Brett Holmes notes that marriage equality is not only a human rights issues, it is also a health issue.

“As health professionals we recognise the compelling research that identifies the health risks to those who are discriminated against on the basis of gender, sexual orientation or gender identity, including social isolation, poor self-esteem, and the risk to mental health and well-being,” Brett wrote.

He says the Association therefore supports the draft exposure bill’s proposal to change the definition of marriage in the current Marriage Act by replacing the words “a man and a woman” with “two people”.

Submission also supports religious freedom

The NSWNMA’s submission, however, also recognises the right to religious freedom: the Association supports the draft exposure bill’s exemptions for ministers of religion – in order to allow them to conduct religious marriage ceremonies in accordance with their religious beliefs.

But the Association doesn’t support the draft’s proposal to also allow civil celebrants to decline to officiate same sex marriages because of religious beliefs.

“Given that marriage in Australia is a civil institution and laws defining and regulating marriage are made by the Commonwealth of Australia and not by any Church or religious body or organisation, we object to these exemptions being extended to civil celebrants,” Brett writes.

“It is time for all Australians to be equal before the law,” he says.

“Legal discrimination against the Australian LGBTI community [is an anachronism that] must be consigned to history and this federal government has an opportunity to make a clear and unambiguous statement that there is no place in our community for this form of discrimination.”

Trailblazing nurse wants his marriage recognised

Bill Whitbread-Brown, a clinical trials coordinator at Newcastle’s Mater hospital, flew to Canada in 2007 to marry his partner Andrew, then a worker with BHP Newcastle. Although the couple have now been together for 27 years, they are still waiting to have their relationship formally recognised in Australia.

“There’s a lot of politicians who have had three or four marriages in that time and we can’t even get married,” Bill notes.

“We’re hoping that we will eventually get marriage equality. We’ve been through quite a few rallies in support of the change. It would mean that we are equal citizens to everyone else in Australia.

“As it stands at the moment it is like animal farm, where all animals are equal and some animals are more equal than others. In Australia a same sex relationship is not equal to a heterosexual relationship.”

Bill and Andrew Whitbread-Brown are no strangers to the struggle for equality. In 1995 the couple queried a bill from the health insurer NIB to cover the two men and their then one-year-old son.

NIB treated the pair as two single men, rather than charging them a family rate – an amount of $2,745 compared to the $1,830 they charged families. In an over-the-counter exchange NIB advised them that if Bill was a woman they would be eligible for the family rate.

The couple took their complaint to the Equal Opportunity Tribunal, and the case eventually reached the Supreme Court. NIB argued that the rules of its health fund overrode the NSW Anti-Discrimination Act. The tribunal rejected NIB’s case, but the insurer appealed the decision. To fight the case Bill and Andrew had to raise $15,000 and put their house on the line.

Bill remembers: “It was extremely scary at the time, and we had no idea when we put everything in motion that it would be as big as it was, but looking back I can see it was a landmark case establishing what a family relationship is.”

A big win against discrimination

Bill and Andrew eventually prevailed, and their case led to the government changing the wording of the National Health Fund Act to prevent discrimination against same sex couples.

“Even today we encounter 20-year-olds and they go ‘Oh my god you’re that couple!’”

The battle to end discrimination against same sex couples is far from over though, says Bill.

“Even though we technically have equal rights under the de facto laws, where one person [in a same sex relationship] is sick in hospital, the parents can still come in and say they are next of kin, and they can make decisions about treatment in a way that would not happen in a heterosexual relationship.”

“It makes it very difficult for the health professional if the sick person is unconscious.

“To the politicians, I would say it’s time to listen to the public – and there is a huge majority of people in favour of same sex relationships – and recognise them as equal.”

In a draft exposure bill on changes to the marriage act currently being released for comment, Bill and Andrew’s marriage in Canada would be recognised.

Sally: a nurse who just wants the right to marry

February 15, 2017 by Nurse Uncut Editor 4 Comments

Sally, a registered nurse who works in a Sydney tertiary hospital, is one of the faces of a beautiful new campaign for marriage equality in Australia. You can watch the ad, which features a surgeon, firefighter, member of the defence force and lifesaver as well as Sally, and then read about what drew Sally to participate in the campaign.

I was approached to help with the Marriage Equality campaign in January. I had a few discussions about the campaign and the reasons they wanted nurses, doctors, fire fighters, and I was excited and very honoured to be selected to help out.

I wanted to be a part of the campaign for lots of reasons.

When I was younger I was always hesitant to come out to people in my social and professional life. I was fearful of the reaction, scared I would be judged, treated differently, face discrimination and homophobic abuse. I didn’t want to be known as ‘Sally the lesbian’ but just Sally. I wanted people to judge me on my actions, not my sexuality. My sexuality doesn’t define who I am and I was worried that that was all people would see.

As I got older I felt it was important to start being honest with the people around me, both socially and professionally. I was proud of the person I was and I don’t want to hide it any more. It also helped that I had amazing family and friends – I am very grateful for that. I know that not all people are that fortunate. Coming out helped me to be more open with people at work and socially, it led to strengthened friendship bonds as I wasn’t hiding a part of my life; but more importantly it demonstrated that I was just a normal person who happened to be attracted to people of the same sex. I was a part of the diverse community in which I lived and worked just like them and this was not something to be feared or concerned about.

When people are exposed to different experiences and people it helps create understanding. This leads to acceptance and normalisation of that person’s race, belief, sexuality, gender identity, etc. I grew up in regional Queensland. There was no acknowledgment of homosexuality, let alone positive role models – I thought it was weird or somehow subversive to be gay. That can have an incredibly damaging effect, particularly during adolescence. Understanding of, and acceptance of, our unique differences must come from a platform of equality. If LGBTI* people are seen by their own government as unequal, how then can we expect people to accept us for who we are? How can the teenager or young adult feel that their emerging sexuality and feelings of love for whichever gender is valid and not something to loathe within themselves? How can that person have the bravery and confidence to come out, be proud and comfortable in their own skin? How can we expect the high suicide and mental health problems in LGBTI teenagers and young adults to improve? How are the children of LGBTI parents, who care for and love them just as fiercely as heterosexual parents, supposed to feel safe and equal to their peers? When your government, who is supposed to treat the community it represents fairly, legislates that you’re not equal, it gives voices to bigotry and discrimination.

Marriage recognition is also an enabler of other rights that only become apparent at your hour of deepest need. For example, access to your partner in hospital when they are unwell, resolution of wills and joint assets after death. These are the issues that nobody in government wants to discriminate on, but I see loving couples tormented by these barriers – it’s unnecessary and it’s cruel.

This then leads onto the specific of marriage equality and why it’s so important to me. Marriage is a union of love, commitment and security, not genders. Love is a personal and valid feeling no matter your sexuality and must not be defined by government. When a government bases marriage on gender and sexuality it is saying to all LGTBI people that our rights are not the same, that our love is not as valid and that we are incapable of making the ultimate commitment. By not having the choice to marry, we are unequal – there is no social equality, there is no legal equality.

I am a nurse, a friend, a daughter, a sibling, an aunt, a cousin – I am many things. I am an ordinary Australian, who pays taxes and works hard. I treat the patients equally, that’s my job. I want to be treated equally and fairly in the eyes of the law, that’s the politicians’ job. I want the same freedoms and choices as the majority of other Australians. I want the legal and social protection that you receive if you choose to marry. I want to be able to make the ultimate commitment to the person I choose above all others and have it be seen equally as my heterosexual friends. My choice to marry should be mine and mine alone, not defined by something that is not my choice, my sexuality.

I am grateful for a supportive workplace that values my contribution.

I want to thank all the people who work and have worked for Marriage Equality. They are the real reason we have come so far and why this campaign is going to be so successful in making the politicians take note. I had the privilege of working and meeting them for the briefest moment and their passion, dedication and selflessness blew me away. In particular I want to thank Helen for giving me this opportunity. I am so proud to be a part of it.

*LGBTI = lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex.

Nurses & midwives for equality is on Facebook.

Previously on Nurse Uncut: